BS"D
Post Pesach Update…
Early Monday morning, 7 Iyar (Omer 22)/
Lichvod all the chashuv mispallelim on behalf of Tzaddikel:
Shalom U'vracha, and hoping that all is well with you and yours. Hoping, as well, that your Pesach was uplifting, meaningful, and most enjoyable. Once again, I can't help but make early mention of the tremendous hakaras ha'tov extended to you for all of your continued tefillos and zechuyos. Whether Tzaddikel is having a great week or not, your tefillos are doing incredible things-- for him, for cholei Yisroel, for all the Jewish people…though, at times, in ways we cannot readily see. How can one not continuously be forever grateful to HaKB"H for the zechus of being a yid…Cherish the zechus always. Especially as we gradually approach the z'man of Matan Toraseinu. I'd love to elaborate, but now is simply not the time…
To quickly catch you up to date: Tzaddikel's breathing hadn't stabilized sufficiently to move him to the Alyn Rehabilitative Hospital before Pesach as hoped, but we were, B"H, able to move him soon after the conclusion of Yom Tov. Not easy saying goodbye to so many of the dedicated and caring staff at Haddasah Har HaTzofim, but HaKB"H had clearly decided that Alyn was now the best place for him.
One quick "interesting" tidbit is called for here, something we only found out about during Chol Ha'moed: Tzaddikel had been having difficulty from the start keeping his milk down in his stomach. To help weigh the milk down, the doctors at Haddasah decided early on to add corn meal to all his milk intake. While having been taking the corn meal for almost two months, on Erev Pesach- right around 10:00am (z'man bi'ur chameitz) as the doctors began their morning rounds- for no specific reason, the non-religious doctors decided that the corn meal probably wasn't helping so much anyway so why not just stop giving it to him…corn meal, by the way, is "kitniyos," legumes, that which Ashkenazim refrain from eating over Pesach…And for no apparent reason, the doctors, on Erev Pesach, simply decided to remove it for good from his diet…(And all this is happening against a Pesach backdrop of Moshe Rabbeinu refusing to nurse from an Egyptian's milk…) Our Tatty in Heaven never ceases to amaze us.
It took some time for Tzaddikel to get acclimated to his new surroundings, new voices, new faces…got us (and the doctors) a bit worried the first few days as he seemed atypically wiped out. He gradually regained his alertness, and after over three months since his birth, was finally able to look out a window at Alyn and behold HaKB"H's beautiful world and the hills of Yerushalayim for the very first time. He seemed in awe…but we're still not yet allowed to take him outside for his first taste of fresh air… hopefully soon as he turns four months old in just a few days.
This adorable munchkin of a tzaddikel, bliay"h (it's getting more and more difficult to say good-night and have to head home…) continues to intrigue us. There is a television in the pediatric respiratory room at Alyn that is turned on quite frequently for the children to watch- for stimulation, to keep them busy, etc. Except for one very brief glance in its direction (and I could be wrong even with that), I have never seen Tzaddikel look at the T.V. screen even when he is fully alert. He seems to have no interest in it whatsoever (unless, of course, he's just waiting for his Tatty to leave the room…), though his attention is often triggered by other devices emitting a bright light. Added to this is the story of a non-religious therapist who remarked to my wife that Tzaddikel only seemed to look in her direction during therapy sessions when she was dressed in a more modest attire… Who is this Klal Yisroel baby??
It was time to get him a birth certificate. Though the bris has, unfortunately, not yet taken place and he therefore has not yet been given his future "real" name, we were told there was no problem at all writing in his real name to procure the necessary official documents. I was in line at the Misrad HaP'nim here in Yerushalayim hoping to be out in time to deliver a gemara shiur a little while later. B"H the line moved fairly quickly (miracles do sometimes occur there), and I soon sat myself across from a somewhat dispassionate clerk who seemed in no particular rush to speed my journey along. A minute later, someone approached with a claim that his earlier number had been skipped over, and he was therefore entitled to my place. I had no problem with that- I waited long enough, what's another few minutes…- and then took a seat across from another clerk soon after. This new clerk, interestingly enough, informed me that she herself waited for her first child for over ten years…needless to say, she delightfully took care of things with utmost alacrity—and a big friendly smile…I guess if there's one woman in the world (besides my wife, of course) who got to know Tzaddikel's future real name before anyone else, it's nice to know it's someone who underwent such a nisayon as well…
Interesting things happening, yes… but, unfortunately, Tzaddikel's breathing has not been that great as of late. Last night, in fact, was a pretty scary one (don't ask…), and compelled the doctors to have blood tests and x-rays performed. The results from all the recent tests? Things seem to be generally fine, B"H. So what then is going on? Well, they're not 100% sure, but Tzaddikel's lack of consistent swallow is certainly causing some difficulties with his breathing. He's been receiving speech and physical therapy (with occasional OT) and, Bi'ezras Hashem, that will help expedite the healing process.
But it really all comes down to the koach ha'tefilla (along with additional zechuyos). HaKB"H continues to demonstrate, day after day, that He alone is running this show—as He always does. And with abundant rachamim. One just has to keep his eyes always open. It's now almost four months in hospitals, and the head doctor just recently informed us that he doesn't realistically see how a bris could take place relatively soon—too risky regarding Tzaddikel's breathing issues to allow for a bris right now, and too risky, he feels, to allow him brought home, even with a full time nurse in tow. So our not-very-normal daily routines (a decent night sleep is by now somewhat of a foreign concept) will apparently have to continue for now. But what is "normal" anyway? B"H we have no doubts that HaKB"H, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, knows exactly what He's doing every step of the way, and, though admittedly not always easy to accept with true simcha, Tzaddikel is, unquestionably, precisely where he is supposed to be right now. HaKB"H is watching ever so closely over him-- along with all other cholei Yisroel.
In light of some recent breathing scares (and some other issues), we ask you special neshamos to please continue pouring your hearts out in meaningful tefillos to help bring this Tzaddikel of the Klal to a speedy recovery in all areas. To help bring him- AND ALL CHOLEI YISROEL- to their respective loving and caring homes, healthy and happy, in the very near future.
Granted, this update turned out to be not so brief after all- my apologies for the length. And I've also got to try getting a bit of sleep tonight. But much thanks again for all the incredible hishtadlus, the many tefillos and myriad zechuyos—you're all truly amazing people and special yidden. Never give up for a second constantly hoping and davening for complete yeshuos and nechamos for everyone. HaKB"H is ALWAYS listening, loving each and every one of us more than we could ever imagine, treasuring every precious word that escapes our lips, every precious tear that rolls slowly down our cheeks. Allow time to let the holy words of Dovid ha'melech's Tehillim pour forth as often as possible. Talk to HaKB"H constantly throughout the day, every day. He is kulo tov, and administers only kol tuv always. Believe it with everything you've got and trust Him wholeheartedly to run the show the way He sees fit.
May He answer all of your precious tefillos bi'karov, and may the ultimate geu'la come speedily in our days.
Best wishes for a great week ahead, and much bracha, hatzlacha, and siyata dishmaya in all areas.
With overwhelming hakaras ha'tov,
Eytan Feiner
